New Endings

Hah, i am back after forever?? hmph... well, i was relief teaching as some of you have already known. For those who do not know, i am teaching at Beatty Secondary School, my old secondary school. HAHA!! its been fun but exhausting.

More on other stuff. Its been very long since i last blogged. There are many things that i wanted to put down in my blog, but i seemed to have forgotten what i wanted to put down in this blog. A levels were long gone, now living life day by day, anxiety growing as i await the release of the A lvl results. I do not have a good feeling about this. But i still have to face it. I feel as if i have became stupid, especially after the "abstinence" from studying (not that i indulge in studying).

Hmph, well... other than teaching and going out with frens, my life has been rather boring... same rituals..... playing computer games and surfing the internet. I want to go out fishing, hiking, doing nonsense, more nonsense and wasting time..... I dunno why, but i just cant stay at home and stare into the computer screen like i used to before. I think that i am losing my thing for computers..... Duno if its for the better or for the worse..

Recently, i juz sat down at some coffeeshop and juz stared into empty space, enjoying the evening breeze, reflecting on what has happened so far for the past 19 years of my life. Its been kinda fufilling but still, there are things that i wished i had done that i did not do earlier. The more i think, the "sadder" i become. I dun rly know how to express this feeling, but yea....

I dread april..... i juz wish april never comes..... I have to enter NS and my fitness has gone back to square one, being unfit, after so much effort i put into training for napfa last year. I keep telling myself that i have to go running, but all i have done was to go to the gym twice.... which sucked... coz going twice only helped me make my body ache.

Anyway, i hope a more interesting month lies ahead, oh wait, i dont have to hope coz january was as boring as it could get. anyway, tata

Lame stuff

Your dating personality profile: Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about her appearance. Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Stylish 2. Liberal 3. Big-Hearted 4. Romantic 5. Traditional 6. Adventurous 7. Sensual 8. Shy 9. Wealthy/Ambitious 10. Practical

Your date match profile: Wealthy/Ambitious - You seek someone with goals, someone to whom success is important. You would like for this person to open up new experiences and opportunities for you. Stylish - You cannot put up with someone who is lacking in style. You want an original, someone with flare, someone with good taste. Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things.

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Wealthy/Ambitious 2. Stylish 3. Adventurous 4. Outgoing 5. Traditional 6. Practical 7. Romantic 8. Sensual 9. Intellectual 10. Conservative

Take the Dating Profile Quiz at Would I Date You

Last few moments in NYJC

Before I wrap up life in NYJC ( which was a fruitful one or rather, to be more specific, a rollercoaster ride ), I want to seize one of the last few opportunities that I have left to blog, as a student, using the school computer. So right now, here I am in the school library typing this blog entry which will probably sum up what I have to say about my eventful jc life.

Oh boy, I can still remember, vividly, the first few days when I was posted into Nanyang JC. I kept on thinking, why did I not work hard enough to enter Anderson JC (near my house, known for their academics), and how NYJC was very “cheena” and stuff, I almost asked for a transfer out after I got the posting of the provisional admissions exercise. But soon after I stepped into the school, I rubbished any thoughts of leaving NYJC, the culture here might be “cheena” , but I appreciate it, I have never experienced a school with such a large population that was as tightly knitted as Nanyang’s.

Well, life here has been tough, full of surprises and stuff, some pleasant, others, not so. But I’ve learnt to handle problems, big or small. During my life in Nanyang, I have answered quite a number of the infinite questions of life. I can’t help but to wonder how some people can’t seem to have anything and some people have it all, how some people feel, how others perceive life and death. Those are questions that are probably going to be left unanswered in my life, because it is almost certain that the future is becoming more and more uncertain.

Before I waste my life away, while waiting to be enlisted into the army, I would really appreciate having coffee at a coffeeshop, watching people go by and just wonder, how they would be feeling, who are those they love, what if they happen to leave their loved ones behind, how would they feel? And to whom do they seek when in need of divine help. For me, I can’t really seek for divine help, for I do not have a god. Sometimes I can’t help but to wonder, who is god? I recently watched a movie called “The island”, its quite an old show. This particular mechanic defined god as the person who would not do anything whenever u close your eyes and murmur to yourself, asking for help. So who/what is god? Only god knows…….. (hmmmmmm….???)

I just realized something, There was this one instance where Mrs Tan, (Gp tutor), said something which went along the lines of “as you grow older, you tend to ask many more questions”. I certainly seemed to have abided by her philosophy. I think many people will find what I am about to say weird, so brace yourselves. I can’t wait to find out how it feels like to die and to find out if there is life after death, if I will ever be reincarnated (if there is such a thing). There are just too many voids in life which science has not filled up. I am not sure if I will live long enough to answer these questions.

Oh well, lets revert to MY philosophy, I believe in only 3 days today, tomorrow and yesterday, so lets take one step at a time and not think too far into the future.

Tata..

BORED

I know i said not to blog till the end of the A lvls, but here i am, down with the pox, staring at the same four walls, confined till I am well.
recently i took this test on what my future will be like. though i think that it is not quite possible, but still, its something which i hope will come true.

You live in a mansion. You'll make $900,000 a year. You own a limo. Your job will be either a doctor or scientist. Your husband/wife will be lazy, spoiled, attractive and social. You'll only have one kid. You'll die at forty because of alcohol. Yes, you'll make it to heaven!

Another test i took....... cant remember what it was but here is the result...

You take the problems of others with you wherever you go. In your spare time you try to think of some way to resolve the dilemmas of your friends. You have an attraction to those who are in need and you feel that you always have to contribute in some way to make those around you like you. The respect of others is important to you.

Outing+bbq

Yesterday was well.... not as fun as i had expected it to be. however, the movie mamamia was the first musical that i had actually not slept in. It was funny and it had songs which i enjoyed.
Before and after the movie, we played pool, we went bowling... haah.... no mood to tell the whole story... haiz...
then go bbq... makan... lawl... sommore...
sian.... i really no mood type le... sorry... a rubbish entry.. i promise i will sit down to type a proper entry some time soon.

PRELIM OVER!!

YAY! prelims are finally over... bored of studying... i wanna just sleep lol! aiya... juz played a hell lot of CS... damn fun! tired lol... play so long haha...... nites... i will write a real post real soon

EMO stuff

I just discovered who are my true friends. In life, there are your typical hypocrites, posers and those who are pretty blatant about things, but the people i hate the most are the hypocrites. There was this period in time, where chance gave me THE perfect opportunity to see right through this person. Obviously, I am not going to reveal any critical information, so do not try to glean/infer/guess who the person is.
To be fair, I might have overead the situation and "spiced" it up, but judging from his/her past history and what he/her treated me these few days, i highly doubt that i am wrong.
I know i should not be writing this now, for tomorrow, my gp tutor beckons me towards the hall for the all-so-important GP prelims. However, I feel that it is really important for me to get this off my chest so that i can have a clear mind for tomorrow. To describe how i feel now in words is a mammoth task for me to do, but for the sake of you people reading my blog, i will attempt the impossible, with my limited vocabulary. To put it simply, I WAS a shackled dove, NOW i am liberated and i feel more at ease.
Oh well... now to prepare for the exams.

20.08.2008

HAHA! i juz wanted to blog coz of today! lawl... 20082008. nice date! lawl... and as usual... my 4d/toto no number come out for the dunno how many time.... haiz... maybe i was not meant to win in any form of gambling..

Some random thoughts

I know i said I will not blog for quite some while, but oh well... some thoughts just came across my mind and i thought i wanted to put it down in words.

I was thinking about all the fun we had during LTC (leadership training camp 2007) last year. There was this particular view that i just could not erase from my mind. It was the spectacular view from Kent Ridge Park, it was quite high up, but the view was very rewarding. It had the sea view, a few big ships and a few low lying houses with lots and lots of trees. The sea breeze was also very very, well...., nice? I believe it should be visited in the morning.

Anyways, many things have happened in the past few days, some of which I'd rather just keep to myself and some which i really want to shout out loud, but afraid to do so. Bleah... Dont worry, these things that have happened, good/bad or both, should nto affect me much.

One thing that i have the guts to mention, but unwilling to face is the very fact that the days are going by too quickly and there are many things which I want to do before i sit for my A's, go for my holiday and enter NS. It is just a matter of time whereby I will miss you guys, but life will go on. The best that we can do is to at least keep in contact. I know, this sounds quite emo.... but yes... thats how i am feeling now...

Got to go MUG hard for this A's, i have not been mugging hard enough, with 79 days left to the A's, i really have to start, before its too late. Well, i shall end my post here. Do not expect any new posts anytime soon, i think....

confused....

The past 2 weeks have been just one of the few days of my life which i just want to forget about and pretend as if nothing ever happened. haha... sians...

Something great happened.....

Well, after so darn long, I FINALLY PASSED MY NAPFA test!!! whoo hoo! In fact, this year was the 1st time in my life that i got a bronze (before the June Hols), now, i went 1 up and I got a Silver! YEY! NO MORE BLOODY PE ALREADY!
dun worry zul, you should be able to make it! just train consistently.
now to less "happy" things.... Yesterday i received my Geog results at abt 12noon. I got 39 marks in total.... well..... that was, WITHOUT TRYING THE 25 MARK ESSAY QUESTION (did not see it!! like WTH la... damn lame sia...)I was devastated.... so i did not count the marks and i juz shoved the paper in my bag... The teacher did remind us to check the marks so that he could change it and key it into the computer system by 1230. I went to the library and did my chem HW. At 230, i had to go for geog remedial (for those who got U-grade).... When i went there, i took out my geog paper and for some reason, i decided to count the marks! BLOODY HELL!!!! i was supposed to get 2 more marks (counting error)! with that 2 more marks!, i would not have gotten my 3rd U-grade and i would not have needed to go for the Geog remedial! SO darn PISSED!
Oh well, i juz have to take it... it could be a blessing in disguise

Recovering from shock

First things first...... WOW! i did not do as badly as i thought i would have.
secondly, BLEAH! the results were still not very encouraging.

After i got my results, i had mixed feelings, both happy and disappointed. Well, i shall not elaborate too much on that, but i was happy for the results of certain subjects. Well... GP sucked badly, the mean, average and median of the grades for GP was U. How happening..... i got 35/100.... good right?? LAWL.!!

Aside with my horrendous results.... going out with my friends to watch a movie on saturday! hope it will be enjoyable.

Scared...

Well, the post exam celebrations was not quite what I had expected it to be... my exam results will be coming soon, way toooo soon! Words can't quite full explain how i feel right now, but here are a few words; eager, scared, want to stop the clocks.
So much for youth day, bleah..... LOL

Euro 2008 Final

I know i should not have watched the football game, but it was so tempting. I knew Spain would outclass and outplay the Germans, but deep down inside, i wanted Germany to win. The reason would be because they have shown such efficiency in their game of football. They do not pass the ball around aimlessly; once they get the ball, they immediately move it forward to an attacking postition.

However, the Spaniards were just too good, they were all over the pitch and once they got into gear, they never looked like slipping up. They had way too many shots on goal and poor Germany managed to keep them at bay for 33 minutes before a Torres(right) goal seperated the 2 sides. The scoreline would have been larger if not for Germany keeper, Jens Lehmann.

Spain were worthy champions of the Euro 2008 competion.

Now, tommorrow is Chem paper and I cant wait for this Mid Year Examination to end (on wed, 2nd July). Gah... This mid year examination was a total screw up. Not that I did not study, but I think I did not practice enough questions...

Ciao, back to muggin'.....XD

Busy busy busy

Man, i think i am going crazy from all the mugging... The best part, i dont think it will be of any use.. coz i still dunno how to do the paper... argh!!!!! my mp3 gave up on me juz 2 days ago.. stupid thing... i wont be suprised if i get called up for doing badly for the mid years... haha..2moro is CLB mid year and i have not even prepared for it.. math more important. haha

Busy holidays

Sometimes I wonder why holidays are called holidays in Singapore. For me, the June holidays used to be very enjoyable. however, as the years passed, I dreaded the June holidays. The reason, simple and clear, studying for the upcoming exams/tests.

Away with such depressing thoughts, and now to happier stuff. Going for a overseas trip to Malaysia (Johor, i think) during the June holidays for a few days. Played some tennis with Iliyas, Eddy and Haziq. Been trying to arrange with Charan to play tennis with me but his June holidays are so packed that I have not been able to play tennis with Charan.

ARGHhhh...... Back to studying now...

Band Concert

Last night was somewhat a surprisingly enjoyable night. I went to the concert with my secondary and kindergarten freinds, whom I have not met since god knows when. The night started with some Guzheng pieces (what I dreaded). However, they (Guzheng players) pleasantly surprised me. It was quite good, in fact, I will no longer stereotype chinese music as "bad". However, it was the band pieces that I was looking forward to. From young, I enjoyed band pieces, this was no different. All in all, it was a great concert. WAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!!

random stuff

Well there is a song that can describe my mood now... Leona Lewis - Better in Time. A touching song....

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going
Coming
Thought I heard a knock(Whose there, Noone?)
Thinking that (I deserve it)
Now I have realised
That I really didn't knooOooOw

If you didn't notice
You mean everything (quickly I'm learning)
To love again (all I know is)
I'm be oooOook

(Chorus)

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's going to hurt when it heals too
Oh yeaah (It'll All get better in time)
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile because I deserve too
Oooh(It'll all get better in time)

(Verse)

I could of turned on the TV
Without something that would remind me
Was it all that easy?
To just put us out your feeling

[ Better In Time lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
If i'm dreamin
Don't want to let it (hurt my feelings)
But that's the past (i believe it)
And I know that, time will heal it

If you didn't notice
Well you mean everything (quickly i'm learning)
Oooh turn up again (All I know is)
I'm be ok

(Chorus)

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
Oooh yeah(It'll all get better in time)
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile because I deserve too oooooh(It'll all get better in time)

(Bridge)

Since there's no more you and me (No more you and me)
This time I let you go so I can be free
And Live my life how it should be(No No No No No No)
No matter how hard it is
I will be fine without you
Yes I Will

(Chorus)

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
Oooh(It'll all get better in time)
Even though I really loved you
I'm gonna smile cos I deserve too yes I do(It'll all get better in time)

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too yeaaaah Ooooh oooooh (It'll all get better in time)
Even though I really loved you
Going to smile cos I deserve too Ooooooh (It'll all get better....)

Now i think you can guess how i am feeling...



What my name means.......

You entered: Nikhil Nath Chatterji

There are 19 letters in your name.
Those 19 letters total to 92
There are 6 vowels and 13 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 11

The characteristics of #11 are: High spiritual plane, intuitive, illumination, idealist, a dreamer.

The expression or destiny for #11:
Your Expression number is 11. The number 11 is the first of the master numbers. It is associated with idealistic concepts and rather spiritual issues. Accordingly, it is a number with potentials that are somewhat more difficult to live up to. You have the capacity to be inspirational, and the ability to lead merely by your own example. An inborn inner strength and awareness can make you an excellent teacher, social worker, philosopher, or advisor. No matter what area of work you pursue, you are very aware and sensitive to the highest sense of your environment. Your intuition is very strong; in fact, many psychic people and those involved in occult studies have the number 11 expression. You possess a good mind with keen analytical ability. Because of this you can probably succeed in most lines of work, however, you will do better and be happier outside of the business world. Oddly enough, even here you generally succeed, owing to your often original and unusual approach. Nonetheless, you are more content working with your ideals, rather than dollars and cents.

The positive aspect of the number 11 expression is an always idealistic attitude. Your thinking is long term, and you are able to grasp the far-reaching effects of actions and plans. You are disappointed by the shortsighted views of many of your contemporaries. You are deeply concerned and supportive of art, music, or of beauty in any form.

The negative attitudes associated with the number 11 expression include a continuous sense of nervous tension; you may be too sensitive and temperamental. You tend to dream a lot and may be more of a dreamer than a doer. Fantasy and reality sometimes become intermingled and you are sometimes very impractical. You tend to want to spread the illumination of your knowledge to others irrespective of their desire or need.

Your Soul Urge number is: 7

A Soul Urge number of 7 means:
With a number 7 Soul Urge you are very fond of reading, and retreating to periods of being alone and away from the disruptions of the outer world. You like to dream and develop your idealistic understandings, to study and analyze, to gain knowledge and wisdom. You may be too laid back and withdrawn to really succeed in the business world, and you will be much more comfortable in circumstances that are tolerant of your reserve, your analytical approach, and your desire to use your mind rather than your physical being.

You are very timid around people that you don't know very well, so much so at times that casual conversation and social situations can be strained. You tend to repress your emotions to the extend that some people have a good bit of difficult understanding you. You tend to be very selective with friends and you don't easily adapt to new environments or to new people very quickly.

The negative traits of the 7 include becoming too much the introvert and isolated from others.

Your Inner Dream number is: 4

An Inner Dream number of 4 means:
You dream of being a very solid citizen that people can depend upon. You strive for organization and predictable order. You want to be recognized as a person with a plan and the discipline to make that plan work like clockwork.

Some lame stuff

I found some lame stuff on the net... too bored with studying... decided to rest for a while. This website tells you stuff that supposedly has something to do with your birthday.



Your Birthdate: January 20
You are a virtual roller coaster of emotions, and most people enjoy the ride.
Your mood tends to set the tone of the room, and when you're happy, this is a good thing.
When you get in a dark mood, watch out - it's very hard to get you out of it.
It's sometimes hard for you to cheer up, and your gloom can be contagious.

Your strength: Your warm heart

Your weakness: Trouble controlling your emotions

Your power color: Black

Your power symbol: Musical note

Your power month: February




I think some parts are accurate... but mostly... not... I don't know... maybe i am in denial. Oh well.. Honestly, i don't give a damn about this... haha... like I said, i am bored.. LOL

TIRED STILL...... haha

On the 24th April, thursday, I had pe. It was a perfect example of bitter-sweetness, that is if there's such a term. It was the first time in my life that I jumped 230cm (i know it is pathetic, but its an achievement for me), it was only after like 7 tries that i did 230cm. Was so happy, but now, i have my chin ups to train for... can only do 3....

Today was the first time I did night study in school in the year of 2008. Studied with Wai Kwan, the person who did night study with me last year. HAHA!!! I can't believe it, but i have actually studied my chem notes for the 1st time in such detail.

V. Tired, been sleeping extra early for the past few days...... 8pm-6am on wed and 8.45pm -6am on thurs... dunno when i will start to dose off today... haha... many other things to blog abt, but no energy.... DAMN TIRED... lol